Tuesday, October 27, 2009


by Lualhati Madlangawa-Guerrero

Yesterday, I was called up by my friend through the phone to say that tomorrow I will go to their party in a restaurant in Avenida Rizal in Manila, and I was quite thinking that party, wherein my classmates since highschool were involved, may again turn into a fiasco to me since most of these people may do something against me, well... these ex-classmates of mine are mostly my enemies, who tried much in letting me in and doing something against me at the same time.

At the same time, my activist friend called me through the telephone, and I immediately talked to her, only to say to me that I need to go to their hangout for a meeting, well... I said to her that my schedule seemed to be too messy out of such requests being compelled to me, but then I politely spoke to her that I will try to go there.

The nest day,
As I prepared myself to meet their pleas, the telephone rung again, and instead, my classmate still wanted me to go to the party. I agreed and even said that I am prepared to go there. But on the other hand, I even think that party might end again as a fiasco and instead I will use that event to go instead where my comrades stayed. And thus, after a brief talk, I immediately went out and with a tranvia ride to avenida, I landed in Sta. Cruz where my friends were waiting.

I was quite happy at first since I met again my so-called "old friends" or rather say my "enemies" since highschool. And with some talks, some of my friends recall such memories that seemed nice to remember while I spoke through; but one of my classmate seemed trying to ruin through saying something against me, and I kept on ignoring then reprimanding that person for saying such things! Others simply laugh at me while I am trying to keep on ignoring them. These people somehow are again, trying to underestimate me-trying to backstab me while we're walking to go to the restaurant wherein we or rather say they supposed to eat.

But lucky that my closest activist friend sought me and wanted me to go to the meeting, there I simply said to her at first that I am with my friends, and I need to be with them, but since that these people may do a fiasco out of me, I changed my mind and instead I joined with my comrade.
But how about my "Classmates?"
My classmates were surprised as I met my comrade in the sidewalk, and they even tried much in going to me with them, but then I changed my mind and said that I am going with her since it was important to me at that time, as well as my decision to go with my comrade for the meeting! There my classmates didn't talk at all, and instead they walked away while the two of us simply left them and went wherein my comrades waiting for me.

That event seemed to me unusual, since a "guardian angel" came forth to rescue me from those people who again make a ruin out of me! I'm kinda sick and tired of them anyway, especially from their attempts and insults although some events came from them may have bring joy, but still my life with them end up with so many scars in my mind that cannot be healed and stayed dormant forever; unlike those who from the struggle who really understands and even knows what is right and what is wrong in their actions based on what being taught to them, or rather to say to us.

And thus,
In this writeup, I simply narrated that event since all of them, although they are my "friends" or rather say "people involved in my life" in general, are still different. One is my comrade, who really helps me while at the same time being with me in the struggle, the other one is just my former classmate, who, along with the others, are trying much in bonding with me while most of them tried much in ruining me again! Both of them may contributed much in my life, from the days in school to the days in R&R (Rest and Recreation), it makes kinda sensible to me, but others tend to destroy friendship and even plotting to assassinate (not physically) a person's character whom they called as a friend! I simply recalled most of the time wherein they insulted me, offended me, and even underestimated me despite having good works to them, but then time changes and I don't like to repeat that again-especially to a person who used to carry a book, reading or a sketchpad and a pencil drawing. Worst is that a person who know how to draw is a person who faced insults most of the time.

So to whom I will choose? The one who constructs or the the other who destroys? The one who rectifies errors or the one who insults after creating an error? The one who sometimes supports in the spirit of camaraderie or the other who simply think of it as if a chance? Perhaps history will decide who is more of a part of me and not.